Looking back four months ago, everything has changed. I don’t think about love or life in the same way. And right now, both those things are causing me heart ache and confusion.
My heart ache mainly comes from the fact my brother and his girlfriend went back to England, after their 3 week visit. They were there for me and I could talk to them about anything because they actually understood me. The house feels so empty, my step mother is the quiet type, so I don’t have anyone to interact with. I just need to find that one person I can talk to, someone who will actually be around for me. I don’t blame my brother or his girlfriend for going back, I just really wish that they didn’t have to. Will I find someone else to talk to?
I suppose that question could be linked to my future love life, and that my friend is completely confusing me. Two very different girls are trying to get involved with me. The first is so cute and so sweet, yet she lives in the state beside me and is ALWAYS working. We don’t get to talk as much as we used to, because of this, which makes me doubt a relationship together. The second girl is completely head-over-heels for me, we’ve been talking and almost getting together for a total of 2 years. She’s just so complicated and head strong that I don’t know if it could actually work out either.
I just don’t know what I feel right now, maybe my heart isn’t completely ready to fall in love again, or neither of these wonderful girls are right for me. But I worry, so much, that I may never find that right girl for me – lesbians are so few and I feel so picky. Is it bad to be picky?
Looking back four months ago, everything has change, I am a different person, and I want different things. I’ve lost friends, lovers, and unfortunately even family members. But that only gets me excited for the future, I have so much to gain – new friends, new lovers, and new family members. So watch out world, I’m taking everything you have to offer!
Endless echoing 